Author Archives: jeshii

Death March to the Sea: Papal History

[WHEN]
Saturday, August 16

[WHERE]
South End of Reseda Blvd

[RIDE CORPS]
– Valley Division –
Meet at Starbucks on Topanga Canyon Blvd just north of Ventura at 6:30am.

– Bayside Division –
Meet at Los Liones Drive, just west of Sunset Blvd. at 7:30am.

– Not Driving –
Meet at the south end of Reseda at 9am.

10497523_10152104885861364_4850140442652702477_o
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”

What is a Pope? A father? A shepherd? One who popes?

Let us gather Mass at the south end of Reseda. Let us pass through the heat of the summer to prove our devotion to tradition and to our community.

[DETAILED INFO]
– Banquet –
The banquet will be held at MacLeod Ale Brewing Co. in Van Nuys. at 14741 Calvert St. (about halfway between Van Nuys and Sepulveda Orange Line stations). Please consider leaving your car at an Orange Line Station parking lot for maximum drunken party. Please head there immediately after the hike.

– Preparation –
Bring what you need to hike 15 miles in the middle of the hot summer sun, far from civilization. At very least, the following:

  • Sturdy Shoes
  • Sun hat
  • Sun screen
  • Water

– Race –
This is also a race. It doesn’t have to be one, but if you are the racing kind there are two races:
– Individual race: Fastest one to the ocean gets an extra point!
– Team race: Fastest complete team to the ocean gets to determine next year’s theme!

– Achievements –
Two changes to achievements this year:
– New Achievement “Space Monkey” for shaving your head.
– Achievements now have levels. Every year you perform the achievement, you gain a level. Starting this year!

– Punishments –
As always, grab a beer and some chili, because we will be punishing ourselves.

For the exastive rules and regulations of the march, read the Bylaws!

New Bylaws Release! v4.1

The bylaws have been updated! After the Summit on 7-24-2014, here is a summary of the changes:

  • new radification method
  • renewed many bylaws
  • Grand Marshal, praise be unto him
  • Death March now ends at sundown
  • New flagbearing, noisemaking, and Champion of the Sea titles
  • New Achievement: Space Monkey
  • Achievements may now level up!!!
  • Team members may now choose to protect any municipality within the country under their team captain protection
  • clarification of team completion
  • No more Vanguard
  • No more lost points for missed seasonal marches
  • Extra point for organizing the seasonal march
  • Simpler tie resolution
  • Revised line of succession if no date is announced

Death March Summit 2014 Minutes

Death March Summit 2014 Minutes

  1. Call the Meeting to Order
  1. Attending
  1. Grand Marshal Jesse
  2. Lt. Marshal Ace
  3. Vice Lt. Marshal Mike
  4. Chancellor of Banquets Marvin
  5. Non-Officers
  1. Elise
  2. Hasen
  3. Travis
  4. Kirsten
  5. Vihn
  6. Nick
  1. Bylaws Renewals
  1. See bylaws revision candidate
  1. Banquet
  1. Marvin is on it
  2. We are cool with MacLeod. They are cool with us.
  1. New Achievement Ideas
  1. Rebel – Intentionally do the Death March wrong so you don’t get any points
  1. Not radified
  1. Space Monkey – Shave your head for the Death March
  1. Radified
  1. Seasonal March
  1. One does not lose points for not doing and rather you get an extra point for doing it at all
  1. Radified
  1. Should we have a female Champion?
  1. No strong opinion.
  1. Dog dags
  1. Carry on regardlessly
  1. Ride Corps
  1. Like last year because it worked
  1. Timekeepter
  1. Baker is resigning
  1. if he actually attempts the march, he says that is his resignation
  1. Ask Josh
  1. Not available
  1. Or ask people to tweet/fb/swarm their time once they get there
  1. If no phone or dead, ask someone else plz
  1. Or volunteers
  1. Facebook Event
  1. Separate ones for Ride Corps in valley and Los Liones
  2. Encourage people to come to Ride Corps in case there aren’t enough
  1. Special Papal History Bylaw
  1. This year, instead of Champion of the Sea, the official title will be “Bishop of Malibu, Vicar of Poseidon, Successor of the Champions of the Sea, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal March, Primate of Los Liones, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Los Angeles Province, Sovereign of the Californian State, Servant of the servants of the Sea“
  1. Radified
  1. Grand Marshal Honorifix
  1. Anytime the Grand Marshal is mentioned, it must be followed by “praise be unto him”
  1. Radified

Grand Marshal’s 2013 Wrap Up

group-2013Man, another Death March, come and gone like the dust in the wind.

This year was an interesting year. Why? Things went according to plan and we shrunk.

Yes, this was the first Death March since 2004 that we had less marchers than the previous year. I’m fine with that. In fact, one of the lessons I had this year is that even if things go completely according to plan, it doesn’t mean it will be a spectacular event. In fact, it will probably be pretty similar to how it always is.

Another thread of thought that strikes me this year is that of Tradition. There is definitely something comforting about tradition. The knowledge that despite the millions of ways life has changed over these 15 Death Marches, the Death March marches on. That being said, we had a very interesting make up of marchers. I’m concerned about how few women were on the march. We also had some exuberant first timers. One team was unconnected to any previous marchers and found out about the march from Twitter! And most of the folks from the team that brought us the ABC theme won again and have given us “Papal History” as a theme for next year. Love it.

superheroesSpeaking of the theme, I thought this would be the theme that would turn the whole march to cosplay. So I was a little bit disappointed that one two folks were in full costume. But there were lots of capes and masks and superhero t-shirts, so how sad can I be? This is also entirely typical. Some of us like to dress up, some don’t. I’m okay with that too.

rearguardSome more info about this year! We tied hottest Death March ever. This is now a 3 way tie. And boy was it a scorcher. Down by the beach, this gorgeous, creamy marine layer beckoned us on, but by the time anyone arrived at the ocean, it was gone. The sea breeze seemed to lose out to an off shore flow for the majority of the hike. Hydration levels seemed to be pretty stable. People took their time at Musch Camp and refilled their water. It was funny, however, that there was a big sign that said, “No water at Musch Camp” right at the campground. I was dying. I ran out of water at Eagle Rock. But once I realized the water was flowing, I gave myself probably 30 minutes of just solid drinking. This and a refilled hydropack let me finish up without any issue.

I waited too long to write this. All my memories are jumbled. I brought my son this year along with my father. 3 generations on one march. (I should note my mother rocks the Death March nearly every year, and we now have an achievement for bringing your mother!) My son and father only did the first half (getting picked up at Trippet Ranch). One is 4 years old and one is recovering from heart surgery. As the youngest marcher, my 4 year old was also the slowest. This established early on that I would be doing the new Punishment Rear Guard. I must also admit that it will likely be my last as well. Rear Guard, as noble as it may be, is really tough. Towards the end I caught up to the Twitter folks and showed them the way. I caught up to some members of Team USA who were feeling ill. And we finished slowly and together. I’m glad I did it, but it also meant I missed the celebration at the ocean.

stomatalites2013We had some folks going for major achievements this year. One of my favorite memories is coming upon the Stromatolites and everyone stopping to take pictures with them. Tom (I’m guessing, because I thought he had the spray chalk) wrote “they made our air” next to them. Mike started going on about blue green algae and them Bamboo started in about how some were nitrogen fixing. I love this group.

Eagle Rock went well. I was worried about showing up too late, but no one was itching to start the race yet. So there was time to have a beer and a burger and enjoy. And as the race began, someone began playing the Eye of the Tiger!!! Brilliant.

The banquet was good, but as is the trend, we had less people show up. I’m not sure what went wrong. Were people not properly informed? The cake was delicious and fun was had making doughnut burgers.

So in the end, no matter how much the event may shrink or lose its shine, there something enjoyable about it. And if we can survive the pain of the march itself, I imagine we can survive any pain of losing popularity.

We will march on.
1185493_606629959358822_1583540275_n

Death March to the Sea: Superheroes

1008724_10151410647556364_1519787379_o
[When]
Saturday, August 17, 2013 @ 9:00am

[Where]
Marvin Braude Mulholland Gateway Park

View Larger Map

The time of reckoning has arrived. #DeathMarchLA has returned.

-=☠==☠=~ RIDE CORPS ~=☠==☠=-
http://deathmarchtothesea.com/?p=2237
-=☠==☠=-=☠=☠=-=☠=☠=-=☠==☠=-

***** Mountain Bikers WELCOME! Come help mark the trail!!!*****

This is the story of heroes from all walks of life who will gather the south end of Reseda at 9am. They gather to save the world. In order to do so, they must travel through HELL.

All heroes need the proper gear. Study boots or Magic Shoes of Immortality able to withstand the blistering 12+ mile MARCH OF DOOM. Water, giver of life, should be prepared to help avoid certain DEHYDRATION.

This is a one-way journey. Only the truest of heroes can perform this FEAT. Be sure you have a team to carry your BATTERED FLESH home from the SEA.

Of course, those SUPERHEROES who survive will be welcome at The Banquet. MORE INFO TO COME.

RSVP on the Facebook event page!

Click for nauseatingly exhaustive details on survival, achievements, punishments and much more.

Death March Super Ride Corps

BE A REAL SUPER HERO. Drive for the Death March.

Driving gives you 1 EXTRA RANK POINT and makes you a TEAM CAPTAIN (or ranger).

There are two meeting points:

VALLEY:
Topanga Canyon/Ventura Starbucks
Meet up 6:30am
ROLL OUT 7am

WESTSIDE:
Los Liones Drive, just west of Sunset Blvd.
Meet up 7:30am
ROLL OUT 8am

Free doughnuts for drivers (while supplies last).

Do it for the n00bs.

The Grand Marshal’s Death March to the Sea 2012 Wrap Up

2012 was a hell of a March. Although the temperature matched 2010, this felt like the hottest march ever. Seems like there was a lot of fun, but a lot of suffering to be had. This is natural for a Death March, however. That’s the point right?

Things started off well. I was able to get doughnuts as the Caravan was assembling. The Valley Caravan left Starbucks at a decent hour.

We got to the end point to find 2 folks had already started the first ever Double Death March. Wow. But things got a little hairy as it dawned on us that there wasn’t a lot of organization as to who would be taking who back to the start. It’s a tricky business, but as we had a comparable Ride Corps compared to last year, I think it was more worry than substance. (Note for next year, 12 doughnuts was just about right for a nearly 30 member Ride Corps.)

I waited for George to show up (he was running late) and when he arrived, we piled into the old Civic and headed back to Topanga Canyon. There, we found Travis in trouble. His car wasn’t handling all the people very well, so I drive one volunteer back to get one more car. In the end, we saved Travis, but it also meant we didn’t get to Tommy’s until 9:30am. Arg.

So, after buying Tommy’s (note for next year, $40 worth of Tommy’s was too much. Shoot lower next year and avoid hot dogs, no one seems to want them), we headed to the Staring Point… we were late. So late, in fact, that we kind of rushed the Opening Ceremonies. Joel came up and wanted to play the National Anthem. I’m not sure what happened, but it got kind of confused halfway and everyone started singing different parts. When the music seemed to reach some sort of creshendo, I yelled “March on!!!” However, I didn’t get a start time for the March because I forgot to start my GPS. It seems to have been around 10:30am.

I did an initial count at the first hill (I should have taken a video, I still don’t have a great idea how many men and women there were) and got 59. That’s 2 more than last year. This is very similar to the change between 2009 and 2010. Does that mean that 2013 will be more like 100+? We’ll see. I’m thinking we might be burning through all the slightly nerdy hikers in the LA area. Prove me wrong, LA, prove me wrong.

Immediately, I heard about someone quitting after the first hill. Ouch. Shortest Death March ever. But then as I wandered through the ranks, I noticed lots of upbeat talk about how awesome the hike is gonna be.

The hub has been remodeled! No more is there that small board and a porta-potty. There is now a little structure and a more permanent looking toilet. Very nice.

Eagle Rock was nice. Beers were a tad hard to find and burgers were not quite in demand like they normally are. A note for next year, point out that beers and burgers are needed for the titles! Maybe it wasn’t quite known. Also, beers need to be cold. Too many warm beers with this year’s hot temps.

The picture taking didn’t go great. While the whiteboard was a good idea for later identification, it slowed things down considerably. I was unable to get through everyone this year, even after switching from individual pics to group pics. Maybe next year there could be some sort of picture checkpoint pre-Eagle Rock.

There also was someone running who I counted on the initial hill who we never saw again. Someone said he continued on all the way without stopping, but then got lost and finished in the 10s. I can’t figure out who it was. REMEMBER FOLKS, your race to the sea will not count if you do not visit Eagle Rock and wait for the go sign. Also, there was confusion over if that was the start or the start was the start. Something else to try to clarify.

After announcing the race at 12:45pm (this was exact), I stuck around to take the pictures of some non-racing members and then proceeded to walk with the Lt. Marshal and Vice Lt. Marshal for a while. Ace suggested a sweep to make sure that there are no stragglers, but we didn’t seem motivated to really pass a bylaw about it at that time. I think a Rear Guard position would be fantastic, but it would have to be a volunteer position staffed by a long time member who knows the route. Might be a good idea to suggest this pre-2013 March and see if anyone is interested.

At Musch Camp, lots of people were taking a nice shady second break. One guy was furiously searching for a geocache. People seem to be having lots of fun with the achievements. They seem to have become a major part of the March, despite only being the second year for them. I was already feeling pretty slow, so rather than stick around too long, I offered some burgers, I drank until I sloshed and headed off alone. Lonely Death March is lonely.

When I got to the next water (I always forget that there are two water fountains pretty close to each other) near the Altar of Freedom, I waited for the next group to catch up and lead a party up to the Altar. We took our pictures there and headed off to Trippet Ranch.

At Trippet, they were building a new shade structure. It appears half completed. This is the halfway point, but I kept telling people it was the latitude. I’m surprised by how little I specifically remember about the hike. Each year begins to blur into the next.

The last section was variously leaving people behind and being left behind. I’m trying to remember just how many hills there are, but this last section is tough. I think the second to last hill is the worst (long and steep), but most people seem to think the last hill is the worst.

I was alone once again for the Los Liones Trail and was appalled by how much trash there was. I gave up my trash collecting when I found someone had “Become Two With Nature” and then wiped with Starbucks napkins. I almost vomited. Next year I’m bringing a trash picker and a bag. Think about it, the Death March could really have a positive impact if we all picked up something.

The last new improvement (all of which seem weird in the tough budget climate) was a gateway for the Los Liones trail head. Lovely! Of course, that isn’t the end. The long lonely walk to the ocean is nothing to laugh at.

But at the ocean, I was so happy to find that Baker was still there taking times AND that people had gathered around the shade structure! It was like coming home. Touched the ocean and completed my 13th Death March.

But no rest for the weary. My team had already been waiting 2 hours, so I had to hop in Jose’s car almost immediately to go get things for the Banquet. After getting extremely car sick, it was nice to be in my own (borrowed) car once again. I drove to Trader Joe’s to pick up some goodies and won a bag of treats for wearing a kilt (I think).

The banquet at the Fuller Compound was fantastic. Waves of people arriving and eating and resting. Many who couldn’t make the March this year arrived to congratulate. The cake was delicious and really cool looking.

Again, back to work! Started running the rank numbers and found that Mike had been passed up by George for 3rd place. But George wasn’t at the Banquet! So we called him up and he passed it on to Mike as long as he got to keep his rank points. This is completely bylegal, so Mike gets to serve another year as Vice Lt. Marshal.

Next, went about congratulating Foot on being the new Champion of the Sea and trying to figure out what team was the largest. After polling the people in attendance, it appeared that Howland Reed’s Moving Castle was the largest team, making Supriya our new Premiere!

After that, I went about assigning Seasonal Marches (Supriya is Autumn, Ace is Winter, Mike is Spring) and then took a load off.

All in all, a great March. I’m sad to see it over, but look forward to the first bylaw mandated Seasonal March this Autumn.

Thank you for all your help this year and making this a Great Death March.