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Date: June 26, 1999
Participants: 8
High Temp: 82°F

This was the first Death March and happened the day after the founders, Mike, Jose Cuervo, Jeshii, Gil, Justin, Kenneth, Baker, and Oak Tree, graduated from high school. The original idea was to hike and hike and hike, with the goal of developing a huge appetite for all-you-can-eat Todai in celebration of graduation.

The hike was an emotional experience for all involved. The group slowly broke in two. Jose Cuervo, leading the front group of people who felt the rest were lagging. Gil, leading the back group of people who felt this needn’t be rushed. Jeshii tried to act as liaison between the two groups, occasionally asking Jose Cuervo & co. to slow down or Gil & co. to speed up.

They got to Todai rather late, and despite the $20 a head, everyone was forced to eat the bottom of the barrel Japanese seafood that survived the normal hour patrons.

Gil and Justin had decided to do an eating contest at Kenneth‘s recommendation. The rule was that who ever ate the most plates by the end of the dining experience won. The only stipulation was that you had to keep it down. Vomiting was grounds for disqualification. Each contestant downed about three plates of seafood that was nearing the end of it’s shelf life. Then lengthy bathroom break by both parties and it was time for round 2.

The only problem was that the dinner had stopped being served. They started eating left overs off of everyone else’s plates. Then it came down to the deserts and a sort of speed contest. As they both stuffed the last bits of desert, Justin grabbed a little dixie cup full of what appeared to be some kind of pinkish yogurt (this was one item Gil carefully avoided). Justin‘s cheeks puffed out while he put his hand to his mouth. Justin the uncontrollably spewed forth a stream of old seafood, yogurt, and stomach acid all which resembled the pinkish hue of the questionable yogurt. Disqualification!

Everyone promptly decided that would be a great time to get the hell out of there. Justin left a sizable tip and that was that. Gil‘s victory was hotly contested by Justin over some soup item that Justin ate which made it vague who really ate the most plates. Justin could then be heard in Jeshii‘s car claiming that he could still down not one but two Whoppers and that we should take this to Burger King. Gil refused, satisfied with his victory, yet Justin can still be heard to contest the final decision.

Who knew that from such humble beginnings, the Death March as we know it today would be born.

Jose Cuervo
Oak Tree


1999 — 1 Comment

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